Indian Tech Support

AMERICAN COMPANIES ARE MOVING TECH SUPPORT to India at a dramatic pace. Next time you call for help, chances are the person who answers the phone may speak with an "Indian accent."

The reason, of course, is cost reduction. India is blessed with three qualities that make it an ideal target for outsourcing tech support: technical education, English and poverty.

Companies can hire extremely well-qualified tech support people at a fraction of the salaries demanded by Americans -- about $2 or $3 per hour there compared with about $15 - $20 per hour here. 

Americans base tech purchases largely on price, so companies are forced to be creative in lowering costs. Outsourcing tech support abroad can save millions and give companies a competitive edge.  

The trend is causing problems both large and small. Workers losing their jobs aren't happy about it. Broward County, Florida, called for a boycott of HP products after that company announced it was canceling a contract with a local outsourced tech support firm and moving those jobs to India. And users can suffer misunderstandings with tech support people on the phone because of the cultural and linguistic gap.

WIRED News published a hilarious piece on attempts by tech companies to "Americanize" Indian tech support workers by changing their names -- from "Satish" to "Steve" in one example -- forcing them to watch Sylvester Stallone movies and training them to speak with an American-English accent. 

I've had to call Handspring tech support four or five times, and each instance I was connected with a person in Bangalore, India, the country's "Silicon Valley." The support I received most recently was perfect, but the fact that the tech support person had never set foot in America was revealed when she pronounced the town I live in, Campbell, California, as "camp-a-bell." This is a person who has never heard of "Campbell Soup" or "Glen Campbell" and so doesn't know the p is silent. No big deal. My Treo works now. 

Whether you like the lower prices tech support outsourcing brings or hate the miscommunication made more likely with foreigners on the phone, Indian tech support is here to stay. It's globalization in its purest form. 

Personally, I would prefer they weren't told to lie by calling themselves "Steve" and pretending to be Americans. And for God's sake please don't make those unfortunate souls watch Sylvester Stallone movies! Their lives are made miserable enough by having to provide tech support for a living. 

Have you had an experience with tech support people in India? Tell me about it! ([email protected])

Games People Play

Former Microsoft big shot Brad Chase, who was in charge of three of Microsoft's biggest projects -- Windows 95, then Internet Explorer, then MSN -- retired a year and a half ago from the Redmond company. Which raises the question: What does a high-powered 42-year-old former software executive do in his retirement? Answer: play games. Chase has developed a family board game called "Derivation," which tests your knowledge of the history of English words and phrases (perhaps Chase will bring new insight into the origins and use of "bug," "three finger salute" and "blue screen of death"). The game went on sale yesterday for $29.95. (Personal note of irony: I left Windows Magazine and Chase left Microsoft -- and I'm still writing about his products!)

A 'Stunning' Cell Phone

Controversy rages over whether cell phones are dangerous. But If you're worried about radiation-induced brain damage from your cell phone, don't buy this product. It's a $99 stun gun that looks like a cell phone. That's right. The antenna and a metal knob on the top deliver 180,000 volts of debilitating electricity to attackers. When muggers ignore your requests that they don't steal your wallet: Zzzzzzaaaaap! "Can you hear me now?" A button on the keypad activates a panic alarm. I'd like to see a remote control -- in case someone steals the "cell phone" itself!

Giving Soccer Moms a Hand(held)

Palm's new stripped down, bare-bones $99 "Zire" organizer is aimed at a variety of technically challenged cheapskates -- including housewives. The company's advertising plans include -- for the first time ever -- titles like Ladies' Home Journal and People Magazine. The gadget will also be sold at 7,000 retail stores, including Target and Kmart. 

Digital Music Revolution Extends to Military Funerals

The Pentagon is testing the latest military hardware: A digital gadget that, when inserted into the bell of a bugle, plays "Taps" all by itself. At military funerals, the "player" pushes a button. Five seconds later, a perfect rendition of "Taps" comes out of the bell. The digital bugle is needed, according to a Pentagon spokesman, because of the large number of requests for honor guards for the funerals of military veterans (about 1,800 per day) and the chronic shortage of bugle players (about 500 total). Digital bugle inserts are each powered by two 9-volt batters and cost $500. 

Follow Up

I told you about the use of chat room abbreviations seeping into school term papers. Now, a Norwegian company is translating part of the Bible into SMS (short message service) abbreviations -- the short words people in Europe and elsewhere use when punching out text messages on cell phones. The SMS bible will include St Mark's Gospel, hymns and prayers and will be published in Norway next Spring. 

Don't Try This At Home

Some guy claims to have built a fully functional, self-balancing Segway using Legos called -- what else? -- the "Legway.". 

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Proof You Can Buy Anything on the Web

At last! Underwear for your dog. 

Sign of the times: eBay Barbie. 

Mike's List on the Radio

 Craig Crossman's Computer America features Mike Elgan every Thursday night. The show runs from 8pm to 9pm SVT (Silicon Valley Time). Listen to Computer America on your local Business TalkRadio station or over the Internet every weeknight. Don't miss Computer America!

Hollywood Spy

A new short film called iBrotha is about a guy obsessed with Macintoshes who becomes a kind of revolutionary leader to lead a movement of Mac heads against PC prejudice. Our heroes even form a church to worship the Mac. Finally! A realist portrayal of how Macintosh fans feel about their computers! The film stars Neil Rayment.

In other Hollywood news: Frank Oz will reportedly direct a remake of the 1975 movie, "The Stepford Wives," in which husbands in a small town replace their wives with subservient robotic upgrades. Nicole Kidman may star in the movie, which will be made into a comedy, unlike the original thriller.

Gotta-Get-It Gadgets

Mobile Command Systems is shipping the first ever Bluetooth enabled printer you can wear on your belt. Called the Nomad, it's a 2.9-lb, $795 battery-powered thermal printer that prints from a 4-inch roll. It sports three infrared ports, and a choice of either USB or serial port and will be flash upgradeable. Bluetooth is supported through an add-on module. A Wi-Fi module is expected later this year. The printer should be available early next year. 

Wacky Web Sites

The Giants are ahead in the World Series three games to two. If ever there was a moment for the Angel's Rally Monkey, this is it.

Here's yet another clock made from photographs of some dude holding the time. 

Is ethnic stereotyping dead? If so, don't tell the New Jersey Guidos!

You really shouldn't stereotype people. But if you do, this web site will help.

Welcome to Demolition World, the demolition industry's web site.

Think of it as a kind of speech synthesis for the flatulent. 

You've heard of bobbing for apples. How about tossing Apples? 

Goofy Games

Throw a long pass (American football) to some guy in a wheelchair .... for points. 

Here's a perfectly pointless game: Pop the bubbles as fast as you can. Stop when you're bored.

The odd thing about the Buck's Backyard Steak Grab isn't the banjo music, but the fact that it's done with video rather than cartoonish animation. 

The goal of Monkey Cliff Diving is to make monkeys jump off a cliff and into the water without being dashed on the rocks and meeting a horrible death.

Rubic's Cube is actually harder when there are ten astronauts watching you. But they can help if you click on them. 

Extremely miniature golf!

Last Week's Mystery Pic

No, it's not a "mini Hal," an "antique lie detector," or even an "Iraqi voting booth (if you push the wrong button you get the bubonic plague)." It is, in fact, a photograph taken in 1958 of the world's first computer game: "Tennis for Two" -- later known as "Pong." (Click here for the 2002 3D web version.) Congratulations to David Newsham of Potsdam, New York, for being first with the right answer. 

Mystery Pic o' the Week

What is it? Send YOUR guess to [email protected] (be sure to say where you live). If you're first with the right answer, I'll print your name in the next issue of Mike's List!

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